FRANK.Tonight Brad and Janet, paradise is to be mine …
JANET. Oh how wonderful for you.
FRANK. Yes. It was strange the way it happened … one of those quirks of fate really … one of those moments when everything looks black, the chips are down. You panic - you’re trapped - your back is against the wall, there’s no way out and even if there were, it would probably be a one way ticket to the bottom of the bay. Oh. And then suddenly (snaps glove), you get a break - all the pieces seem to fit into place - what a sucker you’d been - what a fool - the answer was there all the time - it took a small accident to make it happen. (All look at FRANK in amazement.) An accident!
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA. An accident!
FRANK. That’s how I discovered the secret - that elusive ingredient - that spark that is the breath of life itself. Yes I have that knowledge, I hold the key to life itself, you see you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is destined to be born. (Clapping) Thank you very much.
I would’ve been such an obsessive Tiny Tim groupie if I’d been born sooner
long hair, large hook nose, big teeth, quivering falsetto (and don’t even get me started on his mannerisms)
there would have been zero hope for me. I’m talking shrines and restraining orders.